Bring on calamity...!

Bring on calamity. profile entries archives links don't click me.

All dressed up..

And if looks could kill
I'd be a lonely girl with a personal graveyard.
Complicated, bent on revenge...
I've got a speed dial spot in the devil's address book..
but hey!
oh no...
ain't nobody got nothin on me.

My Name is Chelsea RayLynn.

I've got a speed Dial spot in the Devil's address book.

3 Cheers for Vanity.....♥

So here is the deal. I don't claim to be "different" or "cool" or a "non-conformist" or anything like that. I just like what I like, and I don't care what You think about it. I don't care if you say I am a "poser" because that word doesn't mean shit anyways. Everyone and no one are posers. Who fucking cares?

I'm a girl in a comatose world where nobody thinks for themselves anymore. People only like what they think is cool or meant to be liked. People worry about being uncool and want to be liked.

Am I any different? I'd like to think so. I don't care about what anyone thinks about me. at least for the important parts. But when it comes to me specifically? Am I Unique? Different? I'm about as different as all the other different girls in the world, but at least i can admit it. I am an average girl who watches cartoons, plays pokemon, got addicted to world of warcraft(horde. don't fuck with me.), listened to nsync back in the day (and still do sometimes.), puts on too much makeup, has insecurities, and eats too much cereal. I'm sure if anyone ever reads this. they will agree with at least 6 of the 7 things i just mentioned. But, hey, more for us to talk about right? =]

☮☮☮☮☮

xx
Mellow out;;
Strung out on sunshine♥

Sunday, April 13, 2008

1:23 AM

So I'm not going to lie, I'm in a pretty crappy mood.

I'm pissed and upset right now. I really don't know what to do.

Here's the deal, I'll give a little background shit so you know whats going on. First things first, I have a boyfriend. He lives in new york. I live in California. That is complicated enough as it is. i lived there for a while but i hate it there. So Here in California I live with my grandma as her caregiver. That's great and all except its Nazi Germany here.

So My grandma has fucking seizures when I'm on the phone after 11. she like shits herself. She is under the impression the management is going to knock down her door and giver her 5 minutes notice to GTFO the complex.

since she does live in a senior complex the rules are to "quiet down" after 11. But Jesus Christ! its not fucking prison! its not like lights out at 11. everyone has to be silent and turn off the lights at 11! wtf. they don't want any loud senior citizen parties, that's all. So, I ask You, What is the fucking difference between me talking on the phone in a whisper, or me talking to her in a normal tone of voice? Well besides the obvious I'm whispering versus I'm not whispering, fucking NOTHING. I'm still talking. after 11. But one is wrong and one is right. I can talk to her, but i can't talk on the phone. Wtf right?

I know you're probably thinking, you're pissed because you can't talk after 11? no. that's not it. that's just highly annoying and frustrating. The fact that she comes in and says "that's it I'm turning your phone of" doesn't help. (in fact it just makes me want to scream at her because it so fucking annoying.) But then she goes and tattles to my aunt. like first, how immature can a 90 year old woman be? and second, what the ell is that going to do but add more tension to the situation and piss me off more? yeah.

on top of that, my car doesn't work. Dan wants me to move to fucking NY but i HATE the snow. I HATE IT. it would be a LOT easier in SOOO many different aspects if he moved here, but he just makes excuse after excuse. I Do not want to go there and live with his family for 4 months while we scrounge up enough to live in a shack on the beach for 3000$ a month. Sorry, but living inland is less expensive, but he won't do it. Surprisingly, California is way cheaper to live in than long Island. Ok, maybe not so surprising.

The fact of the matter is, I'm stressed. I need a job. I need to go back to school. I need my CAR.... and I'm just stuck in a shit hole between a rock and a hard place and I do not know what to do!

Am I being selfish, or do I have reasonably cause to be upset?

I'm worrying about my life, My grandma's life, My little sisters life, and worrying about my parents getting out of their dilemma now.

My Ideal Solution would be -
Get an Apartment out here. Have devin come live with me during the week she goes to school(the house is so bad at my parents, it.s unlivable. i won't go into detail. trust me, no body wants to know.)Dan move down here, go back to RCC for cosmetology, get a job doing that, save up enough money to go to a 4 year school for a better career, maybe a teacher. I'd love to be a teacher honestly. maybe like. 4Th grade. That would be good. and then we'd all live happily ever after? I just can't seem to get my feet off the ground. :(

And on top of everything that's on my mind, my back and hips (mainly hips nowadays.) ARE FUCKED. i cannot lay in a LOT of positions because it kills my hips. my hips are constantly in excruciating pain. My pack used to hurt a lot, and idk if it still does and i just can't tell over the pain in my hips, or.. what... but my hips are out of line by about an inch and it blows ass.

BUT, there is one good thing. I'm on a diet, and I'm sticking to it, and I'm losing weight! sexy bikini here i come!

ok, i need some Tylenol and sleep, possibly.

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