Bring on calamity...!

Bring on calamity. profile entries archives links don't click me.

All dressed up..

And if looks could kill
I'd be a lonely girl with a personal graveyard.
Complicated, bent on revenge...
I've got a speed dial spot in the devil's address book..
but hey!
oh no...
ain't nobody got nothin on me.

My Name is Chelsea RayLynn.

I've got a speed Dial spot in the Devil's address book.

3 Cheers for Vanity.....♥

So here is the deal. I don't claim to be "different" or "cool" or a "non-conformist" or anything like that. I just like what I like, and I don't care what You think about it. I don't care if you say I am a "poser" because that word doesn't mean shit anyways. Everyone and no one are posers. Who fucking cares?

I'm a girl in a comatose world where nobody thinks for themselves anymore. People only like what they think is cool or meant to be liked. People worry about being uncool and want to be liked.

Am I any different? I'd like to think so. I don't care about what anyone thinks about me. at least for the important parts. But when it comes to me specifically? Am I Unique? Different? I'm about as different as all the other different girls in the world, but at least i can admit it. I am an average girl who watches cartoons, plays pokemon, got addicted to world of warcraft(horde. don't fuck with me.), listened to nsync back in the day (and still do sometimes.), puts on too much makeup, has insecurities, and eats too much cereal. I'm sure if anyone ever reads this. they will agree with at least 6 of the 7 things i just mentioned. But, hey, more for us to talk about right? =]

☮☮☮☮☮

xx
Mellow out;;
Strung out on sunshine♥

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

9:58 PM

So, I kind of feel like an asshole.

Not because i did something mean or because i'm actually an asshole
but the only 3 posts i've posted
(which although no one has read-)
have been me mad about something.

so, this is going to be a happy post.

I spent the last 2 weekends with my best friend in the entire world, erica. I've known her sine like. 2nd grade. srsly. But since i've moved back to california we rarely hang out. which is gay, but what the hey. (im the mother flippin rhyme-nocerous.)

So, anywho, i've been hanging out there. The most recent weekend was a blast. We got drunk and 'rollerballed' into the pool and i washed erica's face. lol. don't ask me why i had to wash herface, but i did.

we also so baby mama which incidentally having 2 of the funniest snl ladies ever, was not as funny as i thought it could be. there were a bunch of rather hilarious lines though. "IT FEELS LIKE IM SHITTING A KNIFE!!!!!!!!!!"

Speaking of which : I need to go download SNL right this very second. i believe. yup.

Erica and I are going to get a cute little apartment, and share her dog which is adorable. :D
I'm extremely excited.
I'm also selling my bug (which i'm sad about, but its for the better)
and getting something newer.
Hopefully, since i will have a job(and school, ugh!)
i can buy a new bug.

i really need a car too, especially because I need to take my grandma to the doctors and stuff. :(

So, someone giive me like 13,000 dollars? Kthx.

SCHOOL!!!!!!!!
I'm going back to school in june. Cosmetology. I'm excited.

ok, i think this is all i feel like i can ramble on about, also dan has been calling my phone nonstop for the last 3 minutes.

xoxo

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Tuesday, April 15, 2008

1:43 AM

How the fuck, can I live with someone who hates life?

I hate that. I hate the media for turning people into gay, pessimistic, grouchy, fags.
I hate that everyone hates everyone. Everyone hates everything. I hate people that thing everything ever sucks. I hate that shit.

Everyone that is like that is just buying into the media. The Media are smart. T.v. Shows, movies, the news... they know what sells. they know how to get their ratings up... Drama. (well, and sex.. but.. mainly drama.) Drama, Fighting, Murder, Evil, Crime... Anything they can think of. Scandals, conspiracies, catastrophe's.

Do you ever see news casters appreciating the fact that they can see? or that they have a job? Do you see them telling stories about a family of bunnies that got safely out of a burning building? no. but god knows, if the bunnies died, it would be all over the news. Tragedies. oh, how the news casters feel such remorse. NOT.

That is the bullshit, that Instills hate into people's hearts, and minds. And then guess what happens? Those people spread the hate.

Look at society now in comparison to like the 60's?
Murderers, rapists, pedophiles, terrorist attacks, conspiracy theories, cheaters, liars... everywhere.

I guess I am no better, because I HATE those people I HATE HATE. I hate people that cannot appreciate a movie because of their high shitty ass standards. I hate people that cannot appreciate simple things like being able to read, or even being able to use your imagination.

It makes me so angry, i want to punch those people in the face. which is 95% of the world.

Did you know that 11 3rd graders plotted to KILL their teacher? 3rd graders! 8 and 9 year olds. Think about that. Thats what this world has become. full of hatred.

I HATE IT ALL.

Luckilly, i appreciate everything around me.
I appreciate the fact that I can see, and that the world has so many different wonderful colors.
I appreciate that I can read, because if people couldn't read or write, we'd have no books, and incidentally no movies.
I appreciate people who care.
I appreciate animals for being such goodjudges of character.
I appreciate a good laugh
and a good cry.
I appreciate my glass of water
which is completely full. Not half.
I appreciate Art in every form whether it is my style or not.
Just because i don't relate, or it isn't my cup of tea perse, doesn't mean that I don't appreciate the art for the mere fact that the artist poured his or her soul into that piece and is now presenting it to the world to judge.
which might i add, is brave.
and I appreciate that bravery.
Just like I appreciate All forms of music.
except 95% of rap because it just brings out more hatred.
I appreciate my family for the things they've given me, for they guidance they've offered
AND even for their flaws and fights because it has made me strong.
I appreciate my boyfriend and everything he does for me. I do not appreciate when he doesn't give things a chance, and judges things i try to introduce to him before he even knows what it is. I don't appreciate him hovering things over my head like blackmail and making me feel like crap. I don't appreciate him invading my personal space and hating everything.
But I love him, and appreciate the fact that he is trying...

I appreciate everything in my path, and try to give everything a chance. even if i come of as stubborn sometimes.

I just wish the world had less hatred and more

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Sunday, April 13, 2008

1:23 AM

So I'm not going to lie, I'm in a pretty crappy mood.

I'm pissed and upset right now. I really don't know what to do.

Here's the deal, I'll give a little background shit so you know whats going on. First things first, I have a boyfriend. He lives in new york. I live in California. That is complicated enough as it is. i lived there for a while but i hate it there. So Here in California I live with my grandma as her caregiver. That's great and all except its Nazi Germany here.

So My grandma has fucking seizures when I'm on the phone after 11. she like shits herself. She is under the impression the management is going to knock down her door and giver her 5 minutes notice to GTFO the complex.

since she does live in a senior complex the rules are to "quiet down" after 11. But Jesus Christ! its not fucking prison! its not like lights out at 11. everyone has to be silent and turn off the lights at 11! wtf. they don't want any loud senior citizen parties, that's all. So, I ask You, What is the fucking difference between me talking on the phone in a whisper, or me talking to her in a normal tone of voice? Well besides the obvious I'm whispering versus I'm not whispering, fucking NOTHING. I'm still talking. after 11. But one is wrong and one is right. I can talk to her, but i can't talk on the phone. Wtf right?

I know you're probably thinking, you're pissed because you can't talk after 11? no. that's not it. that's just highly annoying and frustrating. The fact that she comes in and says "that's it I'm turning your phone of" doesn't help. (in fact it just makes me want to scream at her because it so fucking annoying.) But then she goes and tattles to my aunt. like first, how immature can a 90 year old woman be? and second, what the ell is that going to do but add more tension to the situation and piss me off more? yeah.

on top of that, my car doesn't work. Dan wants me to move to fucking NY but i HATE the snow. I HATE IT. it would be a LOT easier in SOOO many different aspects if he moved here, but he just makes excuse after excuse. I Do not want to go there and live with his family for 4 months while we scrounge up enough to live in a shack on the beach for 3000$ a month. Sorry, but living inland is less expensive, but he won't do it. Surprisingly, California is way cheaper to live in than long Island. Ok, maybe not so surprising.

The fact of the matter is, I'm stressed. I need a job. I need to go back to school. I need my CAR.... and I'm just stuck in a shit hole between a rock and a hard place and I do not know what to do!

Am I being selfish, or do I have reasonably cause to be upset?

I'm worrying about my life, My grandma's life, My little sisters life, and worrying about my parents getting out of their dilemma now.

My Ideal Solution would be -
Get an Apartment out here. Have devin come live with me during the week she goes to school(the house is so bad at my parents, it.s unlivable. i won't go into detail. trust me, no body wants to know.)Dan move down here, go back to RCC for cosmetology, get a job doing that, save up enough money to go to a 4 year school for a better career, maybe a teacher. I'd love to be a teacher honestly. maybe like. 4Th grade. That would be good. and then we'd all live happily ever after? I just can't seem to get my feet off the ground. :(

And on top of everything that's on my mind, my back and hips (mainly hips nowadays.) ARE FUCKED. i cannot lay in a LOT of positions because it kills my hips. my hips are constantly in excruciating pain. My pack used to hurt a lot, and idk if it still does and i just can't tell over the pain in my hips, or.. what... but my hips are out of line by about an inch and it blows ass.

BUT, there is one good thing. I'm on a diet, and I'm sticking to it, and I'm losing weight! sexy bikini here i come!

ok, i need some Tylenol and sleep, possibly.

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